i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
