he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
