i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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