There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
