Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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