When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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