This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
