If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
