..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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