I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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