I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
