I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
