My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
