We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
