Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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