1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
