my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
