Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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