someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize