can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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