I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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