How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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