Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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