just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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