I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
