then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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