Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
In America we eat man semen.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
