Non-Jews are for practice
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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