And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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