There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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