I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
