He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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