He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
