it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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