i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Damn victory sex feels great
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
