I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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