I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
where does the pee come out of this thing
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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