Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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