Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it's like iHOP with fire
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
