but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize