420 ftw
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
