How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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