I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize