but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
