there was a trapeze. enough said
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
