Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize