Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
