bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You can't special order awesome
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
