My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
