He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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