ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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