I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think my vagina is haunted
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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