I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
