About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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