i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
