All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize